Simon Wilder: Which door do I leave from?
Proffesor Pitkannan: At Harvard we don't end our sentences with prepositions.
Simon Wilder: Okay. Which door do I leave from, asshole?
Simon Wilder: Is this a lover's quarrel? Maybe I should leave.
Courtney: We're not lovers, we're roommates and we respect each others' space.
Simon Wilder: You respect each others' empty air? That's very profound for a couple of Harvard students.
Monty: Why did you say that I was a loser?
Simon Wilder: Winners forget they're in a race, they just love to run. You try too hard.
Social Security Clerk: I'm going to ask again, do you have evidence of birth?
Simon Wilder: I'm sittin' here ain't I lady? What do you think, I happened by spontaneous combustion?
Simon Wilder: Know why you hate me so much Jeffrey? Because I look the way you feel.