Fester: Hey dude, what time does school get out?
Hammer: I don't know. I never stayed to the end.
Fester: Okay little dude, we know you're in here somewhere. We don't wanna hurt you, we just wanna kidnap you.
Fester: Okay, none of you little dudes move until those two dudes get back.
Grandpa: Remember, never fight unless you're sure you can win.
Fester: Okay, Marcia Brady or Laurie Partridge?
Hammer: Rather do Laurie.
Fester: Cool. Okay, Cheryl Ladd or Farrah Fawcett?
Hammer: Tanya Roberts, dude.
Hugo Snyder: They're just kids. kids! I want them found NOW! Or I'll tear out your liver.
Colt: Oh no, robbers.
Hammer: Robbers? I thought we were kidnappers.
Grandpa: Colt, what is a ninja?
Colt: A ninja is one who can use everything around him to trick his enemies. He and fast and he is friendly to his environment.
Rocky: A ninja is honest and good. His mind, body and spirit are one. He has self-control. He has discipline.
Tum Tum: A ninja loves nature, uh, 'cause he is part of nature. A ninja never fights a battle if he cannot win.
Fester: First we feast. Then we Felony.
Fester: Alright. Operation: Kick Butt is about to commence. Synchronize watches.
Hammer: What time is it?
Fester: I dunno, anybody got a watch?
Fester: Where are those little boogers? If I was a little booger, where would I be? Mom and Dad's room.
Hugo Snyder: Am I a nice guy or what?
Colt: You're a geek.
Grandpa: I hate pizza.