Chazz Spencer: Members only. Members only. Epaulets are not a crime. Smart casual. Smart casual. Smart casual. Mr. Hammer is wrong.
Derek Zoolander: I'm going to retire, withdraw from public life, and become a hermit crab.
Mugatu: You're asking me why I killed Justin Bieber?
Derek Zoolander: Does being fat mean you're a terrible person? I'm really asking you, Hansel.
All: All is All.
Derek Zoolander: I'm sorry, I can't understand a word that you're saying.
Sting: If you want to find the spirits in the material world you need to talk to the ghost in the machine.
Hansel: What? Who is this?
Sting: I have a message in a bottle for you, so don't go to the police.
Mugatu: You really are amazingly stupid, aren't you?
Katy Perry: Who-oo-oo-ooohh am-mm-mm-mm I-ah-ah-aye?
Hansel: That was beautiful.
Derek Zoolander: I've missed not knowing things with you.
Hansel: Neil Degrasse Tyson? You don't know who you are, either?
Alexanya Atoz: Do you ever have feeling, where you see young teenage girl with perfect skin, and you want to kill her? And take her skin, and put it on your skin? We've bottled that feeling.
Hansel: Neil, I gotta say, you're totally blowing my mind right now.
Neil deGrasse Tyson: That's what I do. I'm Neil deGrasse Tyson, bitch.
Hansel: My mom told me my dad was a beat cop.
Valentina: Who says swimsuit models are useless? Take me from behind, Zoolander. Grab on for safety... and buoyancy! We're going to swim to Rome.
Hansel: I'll go get Derek, tell my Orgy I love them.
One tenth of Hansel's Orgy: Where'd everybody go? I wasn't finished with that Hippo.
Billy Zane: Think about it, man. This could be a sign.
Derek Zoolander: What if it's a stop sign, Billy?
Mugatu: He's still so hot right now.
Mugatu: Prison changed me. I'm a psycho.