Jack Colton: One hell of a morning has turned into a bitch of a day.
Jack Colton: Lady, you are a jinx.
Joan Wilder: Why won't you take the elevator?
Mrs. Irwin: Oh, pumpkin, I never get into an elevator alone. You know... rapists.
Jack Colton: What's the matter, are you paralyzed from the neck up, or are you hurt?
Juan: This guy who is following you, he is very persistent.
Jack Colton: Now I ain't cheap, but I can be had.
Jack Colton: Goddamn it, I knew I should've listened to my mother. I could've been a cosmetic surgeon, five hundred thou a year, up to my neck in tits and ass.
Jack Colton: Wait a minute, he's after you. Who the hell are you?
Joan Wilder: Well, I'm a romance novelist.
Jack Colton: You're what? What are you doing here?
Joan Wilder: I told you, my sister's life depends on me.
Jack Colton: Ah, don't give me that shit. I thought you were donating a kidney or something.
Zolo: Crocodiles shed tears when they eat their prey. You have heard of these tears I am sure. But have you seen them?
Ralph: Not only are we kidnappers, but I'm about to have a close encounter with a cattle prod.
Zolo: There are schedules to be maintained, even in Colombia.