Ted Webb: I ain't ever gonna see you again.
Loretta Lynn: Yes you will, daddy.
Ted Webb: Maybe, but I ain't never gonna see my little girl again.
Cheech: Shit, man, I'm gonna be late for work again. That's the fifth time this week, and it's only Tuesday, man.
Dr. Obrero: I've been anxious to experiment with a male Caucasian brain.
Calvin "Cal" Jarrett: I should have gotten a handle on it somehow.
Conrad "Con" Jarrett: You know I used to think you had a handle for everything. I really admire you for that sometimes.
Calvin "Cal" Jarrett: Well, don't admire people too much. They'll disappoint you sometimes.
Conrad "Con" Jarrett: I'm not disappointed. I love you.
Calvin "Cal" Jarrett: I love you too.
Lola Brewster: I could eat a can of Kodak and puke a better movie.
Cole Younger: First getting shot, then getting married - bad habits.
Leon: See you at the finish line... wherever that may be.
Orville Boggs: Philo... Jordan said he'd give us 200 big ones if we scrap that Merc for him.
Philo Beddoe: Great. Clyde? Scrap the Merc.
Orville Boggs: Come on, Clyde! You got work to do.
Liz Blake: Thank god, straight fucks are still in style.
Pearson: Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, you can't get to it.
Carrots: You know who I just love? Andy Gibb. He's so cute.
Dana: Oh yeah. God I love his ass... Well, you know, it's so round and... cute.
Skip Donahue: We tried to teach him charades! He didn't get it! He just didn't get it.
Michelle Stratton: How many languages do you speak?
Julian Kaye: Five or six.
Michelle Stratton: Plus the, uh, international language?
Julian Kaye: That's right.
Willy Dunlop: I'm standing... on top of the world.