Sometimes You Hear the Bullet - S1-E17
Henry Blake: All I know is what they taught me at command school. There are certain rules about a war, and rule number one is that young men die. And rule number two is that doctors can't change rule number one.
Mr. Humphries: I'm free!
Officer Hopkins: When we're finished, people will be able to walk down the streets safely in Los Angeles.
Fred Sanford: Yeah they can walk in Los Angeles, but they'll still be running in Watts.
Howard Borden: I was, uh, just decorating my Christmas tree and I was wondering, is there a trick to stringing cranberry sauce?
Maude Findlay: Walter, if you don't want my daughter and my only grandchild living here with us just tell me.
Walter Findlay: And...?
Maude Findlay: And I'll rip your heart out.
Shaggy: Man, I don't know what's worse... Those Muck Men, or Cass Elliot's driving.
Scooby: Cass Elliot's driving!