Randy: You bunch of female jock-strappers.
The Queen: Kiss me quick.
The Fool: Yes... where is your quick?
Abel Marsh: It's true what they say about Dobermans. I guess that's why they say it.
Paul: Even if a husband lives two hundred fucking years, he'll never discover his wife's true nature. I may be able to understand the secrets of the universe, but... I'll never understand the truth about you. Never.
Ogami Itto: I am the Second designated by the Shogunate... Ogami Itto.
Mrs. Edson: Ain't it a shame how some of God's children have it so easy, while others have it so hard?
Tang Lung: Let him know. If I ever see him here again... he won't leave alive.
Radio Newcaster (segment 1 "And All Through the House"): We interrupt this program for a special announcement. A man described as a homicidal maniac has escaped from the hospital for the criminally insane: he is 6 foot 3 inches tall, 210 pounds, dark eyes, bald, and may be wearing a Santa Claus costume taken from a shop in Burley. All residents of the county are warned to be on the lookout for this man, and to phone the police if they see him. We now continue our program of carols for Christmas.
Woman: [Talking about cigarettes.] Funny, now that I know these things won't kill me, I don't enjoy them.
Douglass Dilman: When you justify murder in the name of morality, you've done nothing but murder your morality.
Ogami Itto: You Yagyu's tactics are despicable.