Yevtushenko: I'm an engineer. A scientist. And this is ordinary chalk. How do you explain it not writing on that crate?
Professor Saxton: Hypnosis! Yoga! These mystics can be terribly convincing. They can even hypnotize themselves.
Dracula: You shall pay, black prince. I shall place a curse of suffering on you that will doom you to a living hell. I curse you with my name. You shall be... Blacula.
Divine: Connie Marble, you stand convicted of assholeism! Your proper punishment will now take place. Look pretty for the picture, Connie.
Count Dracula: You would play your brains against mine. Against me who has commanded nations?
Phyllis Stone: You stupid dyke.
Sheriff Aaron Whitaker: What's wrong with him?
Dr. Druten: He's had a fit.
Sheriff Aaron Whitaker: Doctor, you were third in your class. I never went to college. I knew he was having a fit when he started having it.
Radio Newcaster (segment 1 "And All Through the House"): We interrupt this program for a special announcement. A man described as a homicidal maniac has escaped from the hospital for the criminally insane: he is 6 foot 3 inches tall, 210 pounds, dark eyes, bald, and may be wearing a Santa Claus costume taken from a shop in Burley. All residents of the county are warned to be on the lookout for this man, and to phone the police if they see him. We now continue our program of carols for Christmas.
