Hogan: Sister if you wanna bless em you bless em dry.
Big Joe: If I hear any more threats against Captain Maitland's life, if I hear any more wild talk about going down to headquarters and killing the General, or raping the nurses at the field hospital, I'm going to strangle the guy with my bare hands! You understand that? (00:35:24)
Mulholland: We're doing murder, your grace.
Duke of Wellington: I hope to God... that I've fought my last battle.
Dr. Jones: Mr, UH?
Cord McNally: Doesn't matter.
Dr. Jones: Well, Mr Doesn't matter we ought to give them one last good yell, they usually yell a lot when I give them a shot of this.
Cord McNally: YOW! That's the real stuff.
Dr. Jones: Well, if you had been a good enough actor I wouldn't have used it.
Cord McNally: Cord McNally.
President Bradshaw: Sir, you are before a court of law.
Charles I: I see I am before a power.
Old Lodge Skins: Let's go back to the teepee and eat, my son. My new snake wife cooks dog very well.
Jack Crabb: All right, Grandfather.
Old Lodge Skins: She also has a very soft skin. The only trouble with snake women is they copulate with horses, which makes them strange to me. She say's she doesn't. That's why I call her "Doesn't Like Horses." But, of course, she's lying.
Capt. Richard N. Jenson: What are you doing there, soldier?
Soldier getting up from floor: Trying to get some sleep, sir.
Patton: Well, get back down there, son. You're the only son of a bitch in this headquarters who knows what he's trying to do.
Lt. George 'Youngblood' Carson: My grandmother was a full-blooded Cherokee Indian.
Lili Smith: How exciting.
Lt. George 'Youngblood' Carson: It was for my granddaddy.
Colonel Cathcart: You're a disgrace. I'd like to know how you got to be a Captain, anyway.
Yossarian: You promoted me.
Colonel Cathcart: That has got nothing to do with it.
Adolf Hitler: Did you know that last year more people died from cigarette smoking than from bombings?
Brendan Byers III: What will you do about that, Führer?
Adolf Hitler: Increase the bombings.