Quotes from Wil Wheaton movies and TV shows

Mr. LaChance: Why can't you have friends like Denny's?
Gordie: Dad, they're okay.
Mr. LaChance: Sure they are. A thief and two feebs?
Gordie: Chris isn't a thief.
Mr. LaChance: He stole the milk money at school. He's a thief in my book.

Teddy: Look. You guys can go around if you want to. I'm crossing here. And while you guys are dragging your candy asses half-way across the state and back, I'll be waiting for you on the other side, relaxing with my thoughts.
Gordie: You use your left hand or your right hand for that?
Teddy: You wish.

Vern: Geez, Gordie, why couldn't you have gotten breakfast stuff like Twinkies, Pez and Root Beer?
Gordie: Sorry, Vern. I guess a more experienced shopper could have gotten more for your seven cents.

Chris Chambers: "Suck my fat one"? Who ever told you you had a fat one, Lachance?
Gordie Lachance: Biggest one in four counties.

Gordie Lachance: Suck my fat one, you cheap dime store hood.

Commander William T. Riker: In your position it's important to ask yourself one question: what would Picard do?
Wesley Crusher: He'd listen to everyone's opinion and then make his own decision.