Quotes from Simon Rex movies and TV shows

Lexi: Let's give it a couple of days, and see how it goes.
Mikey: Yeah. Whatever you're comfortable with. I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I'm here to help. And, look, before long, it'll be like we're still married.
Lexi: We are still married.

Mikey: What did the donuts do on their first date?
Strawberry: I don't know.
Mikey: They glazed into each other's eyes.
Strawberry: That's so stupid. But I can't believe I haven't heard that one.
Mikey: Well, I wrote it. You couldn't have heard. I kind of write donut jokes on the side. It's one of my many talents.

Leondria: You're persona non grata. Do you know what that means, Mr. Hollywood?
Mikey: Yeah. Yes. I know what that means. But why?
Leondria: I'm looking out for Lil, and that's all you need to know.
Mikey: Goddamn sabotage.

Lil: Mikey, all seriousness. I appreciate you taking care of bills. That way it keeps Lexi from being on the Craigslist. Do you understand what I'm saying?
Mikey: Yeah.
Lil: So I need to know, are you in or out? If you're in, I welcome you here. Because if you're out, don't let the door hit you in the ass.
Mikey: I'm in. I'm in.

George: Sue's teacher, Brenda. She's... She's dead.
Tom: Oh. I better tell her.
George: No, no, no. I can do it. Sue?
Sue: Yes?
George: You know your teacher, Miss Brenda?
Sue: Yeah.
George: She's dead!
Sue: Aah!
George: Gone forever! Died a horrible, painful death! Gone, gone, gone, just like your dog!
Sue: My dog's dead?
George: I just ran him over with the car when I drove in! Everyone you love around you is dying!

Cindy: Something weird is going on at your farm. I know it.
George: I don't know what you're talking about. Sometimes a sheep just needs to be pushed through the fence.

George: You just hate me 'cause I'm black.

George: Family, that's just what I've been running away from.
President Harris: Well, that's because you're an idiot.

George: I have a dream.
Tom: What is your dream?
George: To have a dream.