[Blackadder is writing a letter to Amy, as dictated by the Prince.]
Prince George: Tally ho, my fine, saucy young trollop. Your luck's in. Trip along here with all your cash and some naughty night attire, and you'll be staring at my bedroom ceiling from now till Christmas, you lucky tart. Yours with the deepest respect etc. Signed George. PS Woof, woof!
Blackadder: Ah, yes your highness...if I may change one small aspect?
Prince George: What?
Blackadder: The words?
Quotes from Rowan Atkinson movies and TV shows - page 4 of 6
[Not having a present for Melchett, Blackadder offers a bottle of Baldrick's urine.]
Blackadder: There was one thing ma'am, a fine wine from the far east. A most delicious beverage.
Queenie: Have a taste boys; tell us what you think.
Sir Walter: It certainly has plenty of nose.
Melchett: Oh yes, this is very familiar.
Blackadder: You'll be delighted to hear there's an inexhaustable supply of the stuff.
Blackadder: Am I jumping the gun, Baldrick, or are the words "I have a cunning plan" marching with ill-deserved confidence in the direction of this conversation?
Baldrick: They certainly are, sir!
Blackadder: Well, forgive me if I don't do a cartwheel of joy. Your record in this department is hardly 100%. So what is it?
Baldrick: We do nothing.
Blackadder: Yup, it's another world-beater.
Baldrick: No, wait. We do nothing ... Until our heads have actually been cut off.
Blackadder: And then we ... Spring into action?
Edmund: He murdered his whole family!
Pete: Who didn't? I certainly killed mine.
Wilfred: And I killed mine.
Friar: And I killed yours.
Sean: Did you?
Friar: Yes.
Sean: Good on you, Father.
Plan B: Corporal Punishment - S4-E2
[Baldrick is called to the stand to defend Blackadder.]
Blackadder: Deny everything, Baldrick.
Lieutenant George: Are you Private Baldrick?
Baldrick: No.
Lieutenant George: But you are Captain Blackadder's batman?
Baldrick: No.
Lieutenant George: Come on, Baldrick. Be a little more helpful. It's me.
Baldrick: No, it isn't.
Blackadder: Have you ever known me to lie to the king?
Baldrick: Yes.
[Blackadder grabs a knife and holds it to Baldrick's throat.]
Baldrick: No.
Baldrick: You could have someone else fight the duel for you.
George: But I'm the Prince Regent! My portrait hangs on every wall.
Blackadder: Answer that, Baldrick.
Baldrick: Well, my cousin, Bert Baldrick, Mr. Gainsborough's butler's dogsbody, says that all portraits look the same nowadays, since they're painted to a romantic ideal, rather than as a true depiction of the idiosyncratic facial qualities of the person in question.
Blackadder: Well, your cousin Bert obviously has a larger vocabulary than you, Baldrick.
Blackadder: You're scared, Baldrick. And so am I. I couldn't be more petrified if a wild rhino had just come home from a hard day at the swamp and found me in his pyjamas, smoking his cigars and in bed with his wife.
Bough: Shall we call for back-up sir?
Johnny English: What? And watch some fat-bottomed bobby make our arrest for us? I don't think so.
Funeral Officer: Everything in order, English?
Johnny English: I think you'll find it's rather more than just "in order", sir. You are now entering the most secure location in the whole of England. [Explosion.]
Bough: Did you just land on the wrong building?
Johnny English: I did a precautionary sweep of the immediate environment.
Bough: Right.
Johnny English: And everything was fine.
Dieter Klein: You have no idea what's going on here, do you? It'd be funny if it wasn't so plublehblehbleh.
Johnny English: What?
Dieter Klein: [gibberish]
Bough: He's talking gibberish, sir.
Johnny English: Yes, I can hear that, Bough.
[Dieter Klein collapses].
Bough: He's collapsed onto me, sir.
Johnny English: Yes, I can see that, Bough.
Johnny English: [in Japanese] May all your daughters be born with three bottoms.
Johnny English: Do you or do you not have tattooed on your bottom the words "Jesus is coming, look busy"?
Archbishop of Canterbury: Are you insane?
Johnny English: Well, let's find out, shall we?
Lorna Campbell: You obviously haven't met our host, Pascal Sauvage.
Johnny English: Oh! Thank God! You know, I think I'd rather have my bottom impaled on a giant cactus than exchange pleasantries with that jacked up Frenchman. In my opinion, the only thing the French should be allowed to host is an invasion.
Johnny English: All right, so I was wrong about the Archbishop's bottom.
Lorna Campbell: What are you going to do? Sit in this grotty flat feeling sorry for yourself, or are you going to get out there and save your country?
Johnny English: I'm going to sit in the flat.
Johnny English: A good agent doesn't need gadgets. The only gadgets I've ever needed are a sharp eye, sensitive hearing and a whole bunch of bigger brains.
Johnny English: Look pull yourself together, it's only a bit of poo.
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