Quotes from Robin Williams movies and TV shows

Dennis: I wouldn't mind shagging your leg right now.
Neil Clarke: I thought I turned you into a rational thinking creature.
Dennis: Rational thinking creature still have desires.
Neil Clarke: We'll soon deal with that.
Dennis: No! Don't take my desires away from me.
Neil Clarke: Why not?
Dennis: They wouldn't make my life worth living! Biscuits, shagging.

Neil Clarke: I could solve every problem in the world.
Dennis: Have you thought this thing through?

Neil Clarke: I don't think I like your conversation.
Dennis: But I worship you, master! I love you so much! I can't bear displeasing you! My whole world collapses when you're cross with me.

King of the Moon: I think, therefore you is.

King of the Moon: I'm sorry. You must refer to me by my complete title: King of Everything. Rei di Tutto. But you may call me Ray.

King of the Moon: No, let me go! I've got tides to regulate! Comets to direct! I don't have time for flatulence and orgasms.

Genie: Oy! Ten thousand years will give you such a crick in the neck.

Genie: Yo, Rugman! Haven't seen you in a few millennia. Give me some tassel.

Genie: But oh, to be free. Not to have to go "Poof! What do you need, "Poof! What do you need, Poof! What do you need?" To be my own master. Such a thing would be greater than all the magic and all the treasures in all the world. But what am I talking about? Let's get real here, that's never gonna happen. Genie, wake up and smell the hummus.

Genie: Say, you're a lot smaller than my last master. Either that, or I'm getting bigger. Look at me from the side. Do I look different to you?

Aladdin: Wish fulfillment?
Genie: Three wishes, to be exact. And ixnay on the wishing for more wishes. That's all. Three. Uno, dos, tres. No substitutions, exchanges or refunds.

Genie: Enough about you, Casanova. Talk about her.
Aladdin: Huh?
Genie: She's smart, fun. The hair, the eyes. Anything. Pick a feature.

Genie: Al, I can't help you. I work for Señor Psychopath now.

Cubs Fan ★

Genie: I'm free! I'm free! Quick. Quick, wish for something outrageous. Say, "I I want the Nile." Wish for the Nile. Try that.
Aladdin: Uh, I wish for the Nile.
Genie: No way! Oh, does that feels good!

Genie: Jafar. Jafar. He's our man. If he can't do it, GREAT!

Bette Altmann: Henry, what's going on?
Henry Altmann: We have to have sex, immediately! I don't have a lot of time.

Henry Altmann: My tombstone will say, "Henry Altmann, 1951 dash 2014." I never knew till now, it's not the dates that matter... it's the dash.

Sharon Gill: Dead prick.
Henry Altmann: Doctor cunt.

Henry Altmann: What the hell are you doing? Drive on the sidewalk! I don't want to die behind a cement truck.

Henry Altmann: Anger is the only thing they left me. Anger is my refuge, it's my shield. Anger is my birthright.