Quotes from Lou Romano movies and TV shows

Linguini: What should I do now?
Skinner: Kill it!
Linguini: Now?
Skinner: No, not in the kitchen! Are you mad?

Linguini: Tonight is a big night. Appetite is coming, and he's got a big ego. I mean, Ego! Ego is coming, and he's gonna order something... Something... From our menu, and we'll have to cook it.

Colette: What are you doing?
Linguini: Uh... Vegetables. I'm cooking the... Vegetables?
Colette: No! You waste energy and time! You think cooking is a cute job, eh? Like Mommy in the kitchen? Well, Mommy never had to face the dinner rush while the orders come flooding in, and every dish is different and none are simple, and all different cooking time, but must arrive at the customer's table at exactly the same time, hot and perfect! Every second counts and you CANNOT be MOMMY!

Linguini: Bonjour, ma chérie. Join us. We were just talking about my inspiration.
Colette: Yes, he calls it his tiny chef.
Linguini: Not that, dearest, I meant you.

Skinner: Toasting your success, eh, Linguini? Good for you.
Linguini: Oh, I just took it to be polite. I don't really drink, you know.
Skinner: Of course you don't. I wouldn't either if I was drinking that. But you would have to be an idiot of elephantine proportions not to appreciate this '61 Château Latour, and you, Monsieur Linguini, are no idiot. Let us toast your non-idiocy!

Skinner: Surely you don't expect me to believe this is your first time cooking?
Linguini: It's not.
Skinner: I KNEW IT!
Linguini: It's my second, third, fourth, fifth time. Monday was my first time.

Colette: Stop that!
Linguini: Stop what?
Colette: Freaking me out!