Quotes from Jonah Hill movies and TV shows - page 3 of 3

Seth: Look at those nipples.
Evan: They're like little baby toes. It's just not fair that they get to flaunt that stuff, you know... And like, I have to hide every erection I get.
Evan: Just imagine if girls weren't weirded out by our boners and stuff, and just like wanted to see them. That's the world I one day want to live in.
Seth: You know what I do? I flip my boner up into my waistband. It hinds it AND it feels awesome. I almost blew a load into my bellybutton.

Evan: You could always subscribe to a site like Perfect Ten. I mean that could be anything, it could be a bowling site.
Seth: Yeah, but it doesn't actually show dick going in which is a huge concern.
Evan: Right, I didn't realize that.
Seth: Besides, have you ever seen a vagina by itself?
Evan: No.
Seth: [shakes his head.] Not for me.

Seth: You don't want girls to think you suck dick at fucking pussy.

Jonah Hill: Dear God, it's me, Jonah Hill... From Moneyball.

Jay Baruchel: The power of Christ compells you!
Jonah Hill: Guess what? It's not that compelling.

Jonah Hill: This is no dream! This is really happening!

Jonah Hill: Bang, bang, bang you're dead!

Michael Finkel: It's not easy to relate to someone accused of four murders, but everybody understands a child needing a toy.

Pat Frato: You talked to him?
Michael Finkel: I met him.
Pat Frato: Why?
Michael Finkel: I wanted to hear his side of the story.
Pat Frato: I'm not sure Christian Longo deserves to have his story heard.
Michael Finkel: Everybody deserves to have their story heard.

Michael Finkel: I'm a liar? You stole my identity.
Christian Longo: I was in Mexico, who else was I supposed to choose?

Jamarcus: Can I just say, Bob, that these are the shits?
Franklin: Just "the shit."
Jamarcus: These are just shit.

Franklin: Fuckin' alien came on my face.

Bob: What the fuck is he doing here?
Evan: It's ok he saved us.
Franklin: Ya he came in here jackin' dicks left and right.

Franklin: Pigs have uniforms, I think we should have uniforms too. Gotta match those fuckers on every level.

Franklin: Listen to my words, and hear his face.

Donnie Azoff: You have my money taped to your tits. Technically you do work for me.

Max Belfort: What kind of hooker takes credit card?
Donnie Azoff: A rich one.