Rose Lindsey: Why don't you go on home, have a glass of wine and put some cucumber slices on your eyes, you'll feel much better.
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell: Well, I'm all out of cucumbers.
Rose Lindsey: Sue Ellen, every girl over twenty-five should have a cucumber in the house.
Quotes from Joanna Cassidy movies and TV shows
Rose Lindsey: Where is Carolyn? Mouse brown hair, gives you a headache?
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell: Talks like she's chewing her face?
Rose Lindsey: That's her.
Rose Lindsey: Sue Ellen, have you ever had a 48 hour orgasm?
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell: No, I've never been to Santa Barbara.
Rose Lindsey: Don't feel overwhelmed, just do one thing at a time.
Eileen Gallagher: How do you know...?
Sgt. Johnny Gallagher: God damn it, I don't know! These people can be anybody they want to be! It scares the piss out of me.
Dolores: Is he always this funny, or only on days when he's wanted for murder?
Dolores: Is that a rabbit in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Dolores: I thought you said you'd never take another toon case. What did you have a change of heart?
Eddie Valiant: Nothing's changed. Somebody's made a patsy outta me and I'm gonna find out why!
Dolores: Well, you wanna tell me what she was doing with her arms around you?
Eddie Valiant: Probably looking for a good place to stick a knife.
Dolores: Oh come on, Eddie, I caught you with your PANTS DOWN!