Quotes from Jerry Nelson movies and TV shows

Rizzo the Rat: There are two things I hate: heights and jumping from them.

Ebenezer Scrooge: Spirit, tell me if Tiny Tim will live.
Ghost of Christmas Present: That is the future. My realm is the present. However, I see a vacant seat by the chimney corner and a crutch without an owner. If these shadows remain unaltered, I believe the child will die. But, what then? If he's going to die, he'd better do it and decrease the surplus population.

Gonzo: Hello, London!
Rizzo the Rat: Goodbye, lunch!

Cubs Fan ★

Ubergonzo: Gonzo, by surviving and thriving on this alien planet, you have proven yourself audacious, courageous, and distinctly one-of-a-kind. We welcome you back with our most ceremonious of ceremonies.
Gonzo: What's that?
Ubergonzo: We gonna blow you up, baby.

Statler: I wonder if there really is life on other planets?
Waldorf: What do you care? You don't have a life on this planet.