Quotes from Jason Lee movies and TV shows - page 2 of 3

Syndrome: See, now you respect me, because I'm a threat. That's the way it works. There are cities, whole countries who want respect, and they will pay through the nose to get it. How do you think I got rich? I've created weapons, and now I have a weapon only I can defeat, and when I unleash into the...you sly dog! You got me monologuing!

Syndrome: You sir truly are Mr. Incredible. I mean, I was right to idolize you. I knew you were tough, but tricking the probe by hiding under the bones of another super? Oh man, I'm still geeking out about it!

Mr. Incredible: Call off the missiles! I'll do anything!
Syndrome: Too late. Fifteen years too late.

Syndrome: You took away my future, I'm simply returning the favor. Oh, don't worry, I'll be a good mentor. Supporting, encouraging, everything you weren't. And in time, who knows? He might make a good sidekick.

Syndrome: And when everyone's super, no one will be.

Syndrome: I'll be a better hero than you ever were!
Mr. Incredible: You mean you killed off real heroes so that you can pretend to be one?
Syndrome: Oh I'm real, real enough to defeat you, and I did it without your precious gifts, your oh-so-special powers.

Jay Murphy: Why would I set you up with some girl that I banged?
Max Abbitt: Share the wealth, brother.

Jay Murphy: It's hard to tell how many emotions were real and how many were manufactured just to get the other person to bring over more pot.

Samantha Andrews: How do you feel?
Jay Murphy: Like ten bucks.

Max Abbitt: I thought we agreed not to set each other up anymore.
Jay Murphy: No, I agreed not to let you set me up anymore after that girl who you said was perfect for me tied me up and came out with that hood and cane and offered to beat the shit out of me.

Shannon Hamilton: You wanna say something?
Brodie: Yeah. About a million things, but I can't express myself monosyllabically enough for you to understand 'em all.

Brodie: You know about this game show they got goin' on here? We need you guys to somehow ensure that it doesn't happen.
Jay: Is that it? We were gonna do that anyway.
Brodie: Really? Why?
Jay: What else are we gonna do?

Tricia Jones: I heard that you were going to propose to Brandi Svenning at some theme park. When are men going to learn that women want romance, not Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.
Brodie: Be fair. everyone wants Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.

Brodie: How much longer are we gonna be in this chick store? I'm starting to get a mean hard-on.

Jared Svenning: Once I realised the both of you were in the mall together, I decided to set up this little ambush to remove you and your sidekick here from the premises, permanently.
Brodie: Hey, why am I his side-kick? How do you know he's not my side-kick?

Brodie: You're giving up? You? You used to be stand-up guy, what happened to him? The guy who punched Amanda Gross' mother after she called him "low class."
T.S. Quint: That wasn't me. It was you.
Brodie: Oh, yeah.
T.S. Quint: And it wasn't her mother, it was her grandmother.
Brodie: No wonder the bitch went down so fast.

Brodie: Hey, look at that ring. What is that?
Jared Svenning: That is, um, my Junior College class ring. Cum Laude, '69.
Brodie: I also hope to cum loud one day, preferably in a 69.

Gwen: Why are you glowing?
Brodie: I'm not glowing.

Brodie: Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn for Sega.

Brodie: Listen, not a year goes by, not a year, that I don't hear about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid which could have easily been avoided had some parent - I don't care which one - but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator.