Quotes from James Roday movies and TV shows - page 2 of 3

Carlton Lassiter: I thought I told you no.
Shawn Spencer: But your eyes said yes.

Burton 'Gus' Guster: Shawn? What the heck are you doing here?
Shawn Spencer: I should ask you the same question.
Burton 'Gus' Guster: I work here.
Shawn Spencer: I should ask you a different question.

Burton 'Gus' Guster: Don't you watch the news?
Shawn Spencer: I can't watch Channel 8 anymore. Lloyd Lansing wears a toupee. It's like every newscast begins with a lie.

Carlton Lassiter: So you think someone planted it in his locker?
Shawn Spencer: No, I think someone put it there on purpose.
Carlton Lassiter: That's what I just said.
Shawn Spencer: But mine wasn't in the form of a question, so it came from a place of power.

Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be a paranoid schizophrenic.

Burton 'Gus' Guster: I'm not going out there.
Shawn Spencer: You cannot sit here in a dark car all alone. You'll be picked up for mopery.
Burton 'Gus' Guster: Mopery?
Shawn Spencer: With intent to creep. Trust me, you don't want that. It'll put a big hole in your future.

Shawn Spencer: Remember, Dad, you treat a woman like a person, then a princess, then a goddess, then a person again.

Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be a crazy hooligan.

Shawn Spencer: Don't worry, Jules. I'll crack your case like an egg. Then we'll make omelets with shallots... and justice.

Burton 'Gus' Guster: You're taking my name off the lease and the door and these Frisbees.
Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be ridiculous. Look, I'm almost positive this isn't a load-bearing wall. But if you're really concerned, why don't you jump up and down in the attic to make sure?

Shawn Spencer: How can you tell that someone's a compulsive liar? I mean, assuming that their pants aren't on fire.

Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be a traveling wilberry.

Carlton Lassiter: Now I need to know your process.
Shawn Spencer: Do you really want to know my process?
Carlton Lassiter: Absolutely.
Shawn Spencer: Well, it starts with a holla! and ends with a Creamsicle.
Burton 'Gus' Guster: And if there's time in between? ThunderCats. Ho-oh.

Carlton Lassiter: I need to get something off my chest.
Shawn Spencer: Is it your shirt? Please say no.

Shawn Spencer: Oh, you mean my pilot's license? That's out back in the Cessna. Or perhaps you're referring to my license to kill. Revoked. Trouble at the Kazakhstan border. I could give you the details but then I'd have to kill you, which I can't do because my license to kill has been revoked.

Santabarbaratown - S6-E16

Shawn: Rough day for you, man, no way around that. Girl you're dating turns out to be your sister...who killed your father. Who killed your mother, and was sleeping with your ex girlfriend.
Gus: And Shawn punched you in the face.
Shawn: Yeah, there's that, too.

Jon Sandys ★

A Touch of Sweevil - S8-E8

Shawn: Hey, Fishfry, who's the crazy guy?
Randall: That's James Earl Craig.
Shawn: That's the voice of Darth Vader?
Gus: That's James Earl Jones.
Shawn: May the force be with you.
Gus: That's Sir Alec Guinness.
Shawn: Huh. I gotta see that flick again.

Jon Sandys ★

Ewan O'Hara: How do you guys feel about Oslo?
Shawn Spencer: He definitely shot Kennedy.
Ewan O'Hara: The city.
Shawn Spencer: They named a city after that son of a bitch?

Burton Guster: Dude, I gotta say, this restoration is coming along great. If I'm looking on the bright side, it's nice we get a sneak preview.
Shawn Spencer: You're talking about the bright side of dying in Alcatraz.

Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile.