Gretchen: My mom had to get a restraining order against my stepdad. He has emotional problems.
Donnie: Oh, I have those too! What kind of emotional problems does your dad have?
Gretchen: He stabbed my mom four times in the chest.
Donnie: Oh.
Brian Taylor: I am the police, and I'm here to arrest you. You've broken the law. I did not write the law. I may disagree with the law but I will enforce it. No matter how you plead, cajole, beg or attempt to stir my sympathy. Nothing you do will stop me from placing you in a steel cage with gray bars. If you run away I will chase you. If you fight me I will fight back. If you shoot at me I will shoot back. By law I am unable to walk away. I am a consequence. I am the unpaid bill. I am fate with a badge and a gun. Behind my badge is a heart like yours. I bleed, I think, I love, and yes I can be killed. And although I am but one man, I have thousands of brothers and sisters who are the same as me. They will lay down their lives for me and I them. We stand watch together. The thin-blue-line, protecting the prey from the predators, the good from the bad. We are the police.
Brian Taylor: Dude! Don't swear, man, I have to edit that out when you swear.
Mike Zavala: Oh, fuck! Oh, shit, dude! Fuck, man!
Brian Taylor: I want somebody to talk to, not just sleep with. Do you fucking understand what I'm saying?
Mike Zavala: White people get hung up on this fucking soulmate bullshit. Just hook up with a chick that can cook and wants kids!
Sarge: Van Hauser wants to file a complaint on you, Taylor.
Brian Taylor: Oh, the USS Van Houser? The LAPD's stealthiest submarine, only surfaces at the end of watch?
Mike Zavala: Why do you get nervous?
Brian Taylor: Women want him, men want to be him, man. He's just...
Mike Zavala: Yeah, I know. But you want him.
Brian Taylor: Dude, I'm not gay, but I'd go down on him if he asked.
Mike Zavala: Sometimes I don't know when you're kidding. And I have to know when you're kidding.
Brian Taylor: I'm not kidding.
Mike Zavala: I gotta know when you're kidding.
Brian Taylor: I'm not kidding.
Scott Fischer: Sit down man, acclimatize.
Joe Baylor: Fuck me? Fuck me? No... FUCK YOU.
David Jordan: Goodnight, nobody.
Jamie Randall: I need you.
Maggie Murdock: Please go away.
Jamie Randall: I drove a really long way to say that!
Maggie Murdock: What, am I supposed to be impressed?
Jamie Randall: I don't know, yes?
Maggie Murdock: I'm gonna need you more than you need me.
Jamie Randall: That's okay.
Maggie Murdock: No it's not! It isn't *fair*! I have places to go!
Jamie Randall: You'll go there. I just may have to carry you.
Maggie Murdock: ...I can't ask you to do that.
Jamie Randall: You didn't.
Jamie Randall: Sometimes the things you want the most don't happen, and what you least expect happens. I don't know - you meet thousands of people and none of them really touch you. And then you meet one person and your life is changed forever.
Lou Bloom: My motto is if you want to win the lottery you've got to make money to get a ticket.
Lou Bloom: What if my problem wasn't that I don't understand people but that I don't like them? What if I was the kind of person who was obliged to hurt you for this? I mean physically. I think you'd have to believe afterward, if you could, that agreeing to participate and then backing out at the critical moment was a mistake. Because that's what I'm telling you, as as I can.
Lou Bloom: A friend is a gift you give yourself.
Detective Fronteiri: You filmed him dying.
Lou Bloom: That's my job, that's what I do, I'd like to think if you're seeing me you're having the worst day of your life.
Lou Bloom: Who am I? I'm a hard worker. I set high goals and I've been told that I'm persistent.
Lou Bloom: I feel like grabbing you by your ears right now and screaming, "I'm not fucking interested." Instead, I'm going to drive home and do some accounting.
