Quotes from Jack Nicholson movies and TV shows - page 3 of 6

Batman: I'm going to kill you!
The Joker: You IDIOT! You made me. Remember, you dropped me into that vat of chemicals. That wasn't easy to get over, and don't think that I didn't try!
Batman: I know you did [punches him]. You killed my parents.
The Joker: What? What? What are you talking about?
Batman: I made you, you made me first.
The Joker: Give me a break. I was a kid when I killed your parents. When I say "I made you" you gotta say "you made me." How childish can you get?

The Joker: HE STOLE MY BALLOONS! Why didn't somebody tell me he had one of those...things?

The Joker: Antione got a little hot under the collar.

The Joker: Gotham City. Always bring a smile to my face. [Looks down at the newspaper with the headline about Batman.] Winged freak terrorizes? Wait till they get a load of me.

Alicia: You look fine.
Jack Napier: I didn't ask.

Bruce Wayne: Let me tell you about this guy I know, Jack. Mean kid, bad seed. Hurt people.
The Joker: I like him already! Ha, ha, ha!
Bruce Wayne: You know, the problem was he got sloppy. You know, crazy. He started to lose it. He had a head full of bad wiring, I guess. Couldn't keep it straight up here. He was the kind of guy who couldn't hear the train 'til it was two feet from him. You know what happened to this guy Jack? Well, he made mistakes. Then he had HIS LIGHTS OUT! NOW YOU WANT TO GET NUTS? COME ON! Let's get nuts!
The Joker: Tell me something, my friend. You ever dance with the Devil in the pale moonlight?
Bruce Wayne: What?
The Joker: I always ask that of all my prey. I just like the sound of it!

Bobbie: I need a life.
Jonathan: Get a job.
Bobbie: I don't want a job. I want you.
Jonathan: I'm taken, by me. Get out of the house, do something useful, Goddammit.

Jonathan: Talk about the pot and the kettle. When I caught wind of your checkered past, I felt like a celibate.
Bobbie: You made me tell you.
Jonathan: Sure. I twisted your arm.
Bobbie: It got you hot.
Jonathan: Something has to.

Jonathan: Alright, where the fuck is my shoehorn? This place is a mess! There's not any food in the house, half the time you look like you fell out of bed! You spend more time in bed than any other human being past the age of 6 months than I ever heard of.

Bobbie: Marry me, Jonathan! Please, please.
Jonathan: You're trying to kill me.

Jonathan: What are you crying for? It wasn't a Lassie story.

Sandy: Looks aren't everything, you know.
Jonathan: Believe me, looks are everything.

Jonathan: Why don't you leave me?.. For God's sake, I'd almost marry you if you'd leave me.

Jonathan: Sandy, do you wanna get laid?
Sandy: Please.

Jonathan: Is this an ultimatum? Answer me, you ball-busting, castrating, son of a cunt bitch! Is this an ultimatum or not?

Jonathan: At one time, it was great what we had... the kidding around. It can't have a natural time span. Affairs can't dissolve in a good way. There's always got to be poison. I don't see why, I really don't see why.

Freddy Gale: Now you pity me. You pity me. You know, this is funny.
Mary: Whatever you are doing Freddy, stop it.
Freddy Gale: "Whatever you are doing Freddy, stop it." I hope you die. I hope you fucking die.

Frank Costello: How's your mother?
Man: Oh... I'm afraid she's on her way out.
Frank Costello: We all are. Act accordingly.

Billy: You must be some important dude, man. Like, that treatment.
George Hanson: Dude? What does he mean, dude? Dude ranch?
Billy: Dude.
Captain America: Hell no. Dude means - nice guy, you know. Dude means: regular sort of person.
George Hanson: Well, you boys don't look like you're from this part of the country.

Captain America: Do this instead.
George Hanson: Oh, no thanks. I got some store bought right over here on my own.
Captain America: No, man. This is grass.
George Hanson: You mean marijuana?
Captain America: Yeah.
George Hanson: Lord have mercy, is that what that is?