Quotes from Eddie Izzard movies and TV shows

Charlie Chaplin: Did you really believe I would stay away?
Marion Davies: No, but you should really believe I didn't want you here.

Charlie Chaplin: If you were starving and you had no food, would you eat your shoe?
Marion Davies: What?
Charlie Chaplin: Your shoe. Would you eat it?
Marion Davies: Um, of course I would.
Charlie Chaplin: You would?
Marion Davies: I'd have to boil it first.
Charlie Chaplin: That's funny.

Thomas Ince: Anyhow, failure is a character builder, right Charlie?
Charlie Chaplin: I don't know, Tom. You tell me.

Roman Nagel: You do know what a magnetron is?
Danny Ocean: Something that screws up the Greco?

Roman Nagel: You're analog players in a digital world.

Roman Nagel: He named it after himself.
Rusty Ryan: Wait. Greco? Roman?
Roman Nagel: You obviously haven't served time in a British boarding school.

Roman Nagel: You're like the Morecambe and Wise of the thievery world, but even they went off the boil after a while.

Nigel: Do we not have the Party Hats of Death? I've got mine.

Nigel: We - are - going - to - die.

Nigel: As that famous koala once said, "We will fight them... with... peaches."