Quotes from Dustin Hoffman movies and TV shows - page 3 of 5

Sam Daniels: We are fugitives of the law. Idiocy is our only option.

Sergeant Wolf: This could mean my stripes, sir.
Sam Daniels: It'll mean your ass if you don't get your finger on the phone. Finger it.

Sam Daniels: Thank you, Mrs. - what was her name again?
Major Salt: Pananides.

Sergeant Meyer: Sir, my pilot is taking a leak.
Sam Daniels: A leak? No shit.

Sam Daniels: Sir, what did I ever do to make your life miserable?
General Billy Ford: You got up this morning, didn't you?

Casey Schuler: How many brain cells did I kill?
Sam Daniels: How many? About a billion.
Casey Schuler: Oh, now I'm only as smart as you.
Sam Daniels: What can we give him to kill his sense of humor?

Sam Daniels: Anything I can do to help?
Major Salt: Just don't make me nervous.

Sam Daniels: You know Salt, fear gets a bad rap. I don't want anybody in my outfit that doesn't get scared.
Major Salt: Then I'm your man sir.

Raymond: Of course, I'm not wearing any underwear.

Raymond: Of course you can't have pancakes without maple syrup.
Charlie: You bet your butt.
Raymond: Bet your butt.

Charlie: You've got a date, Ray, you're gonna go dancing.
Raymond: Yeah.
Charlie: You know how to dance, Ray?
Raymond: No.
Charlie: I'll have to teach you sometime.
Raymond: Definitely have to dance on my date. Have to learn how to dance. Definitely. Now.
Charlie: Ray, you're not gonna have to dance, but I will teach you sometime.
Raymond: Definitely have to dance with Iris.
Charlie: Sorry I even brought this up. You're right, Ray, you got a date with the only famous dancing hooker in Las Vegas.

Susanna: You use me, you use Raymond, you use everybody.
Charlie: Using Raymond? Hey Raymond, am I using you? Am I using you Raymond?
Raymond: Yeah.
Charlie: Shut up! He is answering a question from a half hour ago.

Raymond: That's my pen. That's definitely my book.
Charlie: Well taking your book is not a serious injury.
Raymond: Serious injury book is a red book, that book is blue.
Charlie: Well forgive me, I've lost my secret decoder ring.

Raymond: 97X, bam! The future of rock 'n' roll. 97X, bam! The future of rock 'n' roll. 97X, bam! The future of rock 'n' roll.
Charlie: Ray, enough already! Change the channel.
Raymond: 97X, bam! The future of rock 'n' roll. 97X, bam! The future of rock 'n' roll.

Dr. Bruner: Well, Raymond? Aren't you more comfortable in your favorite K-Mart clothes?
Charlie: Tell him, Ray.
Raymond: K-Mart sucks.
Dr. Bruner: Oh, I see.
Charlie: Hey, Ray: you just made a joke.
Raymond: Yeah, a joke. Ha ha ha... ha.

Iris: So, what are you doing in Las Vegas?
Raymond: We're counting cards.
Iris: You're counting cards?
Raymond: We're counting cards.
Iris: That's interesting.
Raymond: We're counting cards.
Iris: I know you're counting cards, what else are you doing?
Raymond: Are you taking any prescription medication?

Charlie: Rain Man.
Raymond: Yeah?
Charlie: Let's play some cards.
Raymond: Yeah.

Raymond: Lights out at eleven.
Charlie: Yeah well new rules.

Charlie: Listen, Ray, our dad died, that means he's not with us anymore. Did they tell you about that?
Raymond: I don't know.
Charlie: You don't know if they told you or you don't know what death is?
Raymond: I don't know.

Doctor: Ray, do you want to stay and live with Charlie?
Raymond: Yeah.
Doctor: Or do you want to go back to Walbrook?
Raymond: Yeah.
Doctor: Which is it? Go back to Walbrook or stay with Charlie Babbitt?
Raymond: Go back to Walbrook, stay with Charlie Babbitt.