Quotes from Dudley Moore movies and TV shows

George Webber: If you were dancing with your wife, or girlfriend you knew in high school, and you said to her, Darling, they're playing our song, do you know what they'd be playing?
Don: What?
George Webber: Why Don't We Do It In The Road. Fuckin' hell kind of era is that?

Stanley Moon: Well, I suppose Lust and Gluttony really have to be rather near the bathroom.

Stanley Moon: You're a nutcase! You're a bleedin' nutcase.
George Spiggott: They said the same of Jesus Christ, Freud, and Galileo.
Stanley Moon: They said it of a lot of nutcases too.
George Spiggott: You're not as stupid as you look, are you, Mr. Moon?

Stanley Moon: You painted a beautiful dream and shoved me into a nightmare.

Kathy: Hold me. Please hold me.
Emory Leeson: I am holding you.
Kathy: I know, but it's a woman thing. I have to say it.

Kathy: Pretty girls are breaking everybody's back.
Emory Leeson: But you're pretty. I mean, really pretty.
Kathy: Yes, but I don't have the problems normally associated with prettiness... because, when I was a child, I looked like Ed McMahon.

Doctor Watson: Where and at what time does the train leave for Baskerville?
Dr. Mortimer: Tomorrow, 12 o'clock, Victoria.
Doctor Watson: Oh no, you can call me John.

Mrs. Ada Holmes: Pesticide, my own son guilty of pesticide.
Sherlock Holmes: It's patricide, mother.

Sherlock Holmes: Do you think I'm gonna waste my time combing the streets of London for some old boot? This is a job for an imbecile.
Doctor Watson: Quite right, Holmes, let me deal with this.

Chris Hammond: How can she stand to be so close to her own body without constantly feeling herself up?