Joanie Fisher: And she's English?
Colin Ware: Welsh. Well, half Welsh.
Joanie Fisher: Half Welsh and half.
Colin Ware: Monster.
Vera Edwards: Can't you answer a simple question?
Colin Ware: A simple question I could. Just not that one.
Jack: Then a passionate celibacy is all that any of us can look forward to.
Lady Bracknell: You seem to be displaying signs of triviality.
Jack: On the contrary, Aunt Augusta. I've now realised for the first time in my life the vital importance of being Ernest.
King Edward VIII: Sorry, I've been terribly busy.
King George VI: Doing what?
King Edward VIII: Kinging.
Lionel Logue: I believe sucking smoke into your lungs will kill you.
King George VI: My physicians say it relaxes the throat.
Lionel Logue: They're idiots.
King George VI: They've all been knighted.
Lionel Logue: Makes it official then.
Lionel Logue: What was your earliest memory?
King George VI: I'm not...here to discuss...personal matters.
Lionel Logue: Why are you here then?
King George VI: Because I bloody well stammer!
Lionel Logue: Do you know any jokes?
King George VI: ...Timing isn't my strong suit.
[watching a clip of Hitler speaking.]
Lilibet: What's he saying?
King George VI: I don't know but... He seems to be saying it rather well.
King George VI: If I am King, where is my power? Can I declare war? Form a government? Levy a tax? No! And yet I am the seat of all authority because they think that when I speak, I speak for them.
Lionel Logue: Do you know the "f" word?
King George VI: Ffff... Fornication?
Harry Hart: Manners maketh man. Do you know what that means? Then let me teach you a lesson.
Harry Hart: There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.
Harry Hart: Are we going to stand around here all day, or are we going to fight?
Harry Hart: I'm a Catholic whore, currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black Jewish boyfriend who works at a military abortion clinic. So hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam.
Harry Hart: Boys, I've had a rather emotional day, so whatever your beef with Eggsy is, and I'm sure it's well founded, I'd appreciate it if you could just leave us in peace.
Harry Hart: The suit is the modern gentleman's armour.
Stanley: I have irrational positive feelings for Sophie Baker.
Stanley: When the heart rules the head, disaster follows.
