Quotes from Cleavon Little movies and TV shows

Bart: Well, can't you see that's the last act of a desperate man?
Howard Johnson: We don't care if it's the first act of "Henry V, " we're leaving!

[Bart, disguised as a Klansman, describes his qualifications as a villain.]
Bart: Stampeding cattle.
Hedley Lamarr: That's not much of a crime.
Bart: Through the Vatican?
Hedley Lamarr: [smiling.] Kinkyyyy. Sign here.

[To two members of the KKK, while pretending to capture Bart.]
Jim: Oh, boys! Lookee what I got heyuh.
Bart: Hey, where the white women at?

Bart: You are my guest, and I am your host. What is your pleasure? What do you like to do?
Jim: I don't know... Play chess... Screw...
Bart: [quickly.] Let's play chess.

Bart: A man drink like that and he don't eat, he is going to DIE.
Jim: [eagerly.] When?

Bart: Are we awake?
Jim: We're not sure. Are we... Black?
Bart: Yes, we are.
Jim: Then we're awake... But we're very puzzled.

Bart: Mornin', ma'am. And isn't it a lovely mornin'?
Elderly woman: Up yours, ni**er.

Countess: How many days left till Halloween, Sebastian?
Sebastian: Oh, a little more than a week, Countess. I told you not to worry.
Countess: Not to worry? How amusing. But then you're not the one who needs to have the virgin blood of a young man not once, but three times before All Hallows Eve. Not to worry? Being a vampire in the 20th century is a nightmare.
Sebastian: Did we get up on the wrong side of the coffin this evening?

Super Soul: This radio station was named Kowalski, in honour of the last American hero to whom speed means freedom of the soul. The question is not when's he gonna stop, but who is gonna stop him.

Super Soul: Hey Kowalski, you out there?