Quotes from Chris Messina movies and TV shows

Detective Bowden: Any luck with the elevator company?
Detective Markowitz: They're out of business.
Detective Bowden: I guess that figures.

Roger Greenberg: Um... can the pool overflow?
Phillip Greenberg: Yes, the pool can fucking overflow! What the fuck's going on over there?
Roger Greenberg: It's raining.
Phillip Greenberg: Have a great vacation. Thank you. Take care of my house and dog. Oh, is he dead? Sorry.
Roger Greenberg: You know what? I asked you a question.
Phillip Greenberg: "Can the pool overflow?" Fuck you.

Ben Smith: I like you. I haven't liked anyone... like this in a long time.
Mona Gray: How long were you engaged?
Ben Smith: Seven months.
Mona Gray: Which months?
Ben Smith: December to July. Why?
Mona Gray: That's 212 days. Unless it was a leap year.

Ben Smith: Are you avoiding me, Ms. Gray?
Mona Gray: I thought I dropped something out of the window.
Ben Smith: Like what? A quadratic equation.
Mona Gray: More like a decimal point.

Calvin Weir-Fields: I had a weird dream last night. There was this girl.
Harry: What'd she look like?
Calvin Weir-Fields: ...Like a normal girl, someone I made up.
Harry: Did you have sex?
Calvin Weir-Fields: No, she just talked to me.
Harry: That's fucking depressing.
Calvin Weir-Fields: It was actually really nice.
Harry: Seriously? You don't even get laid in your dreams? That's just sad.

Harry: I love Susie, but she's a weirdo. Sometimes, she's mean as fuck for no reason.

Calvin Weir-Fields: She's a person.
Harry: You haven't written a person, okay? You've written a girl.