Quotes from Adam Sandler movies and TV shows - page 2 of 7

Archie Moses: This is a '70s porno. You know how I can tell? Because the guy's dick has sideburns.

Michael Newman: Twinkie. Don't need it. You don't need it, man. You do need a Yodel, though. Good job.

Michael Newman: I mean no disrespect, Prince Hubbida Hubbida.
Ammer: Hubba Bubba.
Prince Habeeboo: Habeeboo! Ha-bee-boo! Hubba Bubba is chewing gum. Prince Habeeboo is not chewing gum.

Michael Newman: Yes! Look at me. All showered and dressed and looking sexy. I like that. I.
Samantha Newman - Age 5: Did you smoke crack, Daddy?

Morty: I'm gonna show you a remote we just got in that's probably the most advanced piece of technology that we have in this place.
Michael Newman: Sounds sweet.
Morty: It is sweet. The latest, greatest universal remote not even on the market yet.
Michael Newman: Ooh. I guess the O'Doyles' remote can kiss my advanced-technological ass then.
Morty: I don't know the O'Doyles, but... they can bite it hard.

Michael Newman: Samantha, is that you? When did you get boobs?
Samantha at 14 Years Old: Same time you did, Dad.

Morty: Something stinks like stale French fries.
Michael Newman: Oh yeah, that's probably me.
Morty: You know, fast food shortens your life.
Michael Newman: That's what they tell me, but the way my life's going right now, that wouldn't be so bad.

Michael Newman: Sorry I'm late. Some idiot in a red Lamborghini parked in my spot.
Prince Habeeboo: Prince Habeeboo drive Red Lamborghini.
Michael Newman: Oh, did I say red Lamborghini? I meant blue Ferrari.

Michael Newman: Samantha. One day, you are going to be the hottest chick in the world, but you still gotta have brains. So tomorrow, I'm going to teach you Calculus.
Samantha Newman - Age 5: You know Calculus?
Michael Newman: Uh, I knew you'd call me on that, all right, your mother will teach you.

Michael Newman: Thank you, Mom for having me, I know it was a lot of pain.
Trudy: You have no idea.

Trudy: Hey, Michael. Michael, who are you talking to?
Michael Newman: Jesus. I'm talking to my boss, Ma. Take it easy.
Trudy: Oh, yeah? Well, tell him to get a life. You got family here. You're busy. Come on.
Michael Newman: My mother says hello.

Donna Newman: Will you still love me in the morning?
Michael Newman: Forever and ever, babe.

Michael Newman: It took that son of a bitch a whole year to promote me?

Max Simkin: Hey, Ma, let me ask you somethin'. You ever wish you were somebody else?
Sarah Simkin: No. I'm your mother. That's all I ever wanted to be.
Max Simkin: But... if you could do whatever you wanted to do, what would it be?
Sarah Simkin: Um... Have dinner with your father. That would be nice.

Max Simkin: I don't sell shoes, Mrs. Stevens.

Jimmy: I was always telling your pop he should sell this crap and make some money, but he can never throw anything away.
Max Simkin: Yeah, except his family.

Eleanor Duvall: Hey, look! He already stole something.
Davey: It's a letter from my parents.
Eleanor Duvall: Well why don't you go live them?
Davey: They died.
Eleanor Duvall: My bad.

Eleanor Duvall: They were giving out free lobster bibs in the bathroom.
Whitey: That's not a lobster bib Eleanore its a germ protector for your tushey.

Whitey: That's a technical foul.

Dr. Lars: It's too early to know who's winning the fight: the medicine or the disease.
George Simmons: Did anybody ever tell you, you have a very scary accent?
Dr. Lars: You are a very funny man. I enjoy your movies.
George Simmons: And I enjoy all of your movies.
Dr. Lars: Which movies?
George Simmons: The ones where you try to kill Bruce Willis.