Sightseers (2012)

Chris: If the caravan's rockin', don't come a-knockin'.

Chris: This is exactly how I imagined it. No one sticking their nose in. No one penetrating the mind. Take the noble English oak, Old Knobbley. That won't stab you in the back or belittle your five year plan. That tree won't... steal things that belong to you and put them in another place just to piss you off. That tree won't involve itself in low-level bullying that means you have to leave work.

Chris: Report that to the National Trust.

Chris: He's not a person, he's a Daily Mail reader.

Carol: What's going on?
Chris: I'm just admiring your artwork, Carol. It's fantastic.
Carol: I don't want anyone in my room.
Tina: Chris was just saying how talented he thinks you are.
Carol: It's my private sanctum. I don't want anybody looking.
Tina: Well, no-one's looking in your sanctum, Mum.

Tina: Dear Mum, I'm not coming home. Yorkshire is lovely. Not like you said at all. They can smile and they do sell my pasta sauce. The caravan bed is quite short, but Chris is a sensitive lover. Hope you can be happy for me. Love, Tina.

Carol: You didn't let him see you do number twos, did you Tina?
Tina: Never.
Carol: Mystery, Tina, is a woman's sanctuary.

Chris: Mint me.