Norman Grunmeyer: If I had Big G's body, I'd have kicked Freel's ass! Then I'd have kicked Ricky Brown's ass just to cool down.
Narrator: I'm a writer. That's what I am.
Narrator: It took maybe thirty seconds for word of Mary Clear and my impending union to cover the school grounds like a suffocating fog. If only our fire drills were that organized. Heck, even the Blue Angels don't fly with that kind of precision any more.
Principal Kelner: Please Steven, just deny it, for the children's sake. I don't care if it's true or not. Please just deny it.
Mr. Simon: It's for the sake of the children that I won't deny it, true or not.
Andy Nichol: Why would God do that, mom? Make someone look like Big G? So that everyone makes fun of him?
Sherri Nichol: Maybe because God didn't see anything wrong with him in the first place. And Andy... His name is Stanley.
Andy Nichol: Besides, maybe he can really sing.
Norman Grunmeyer: Yeah, sure. And maybe they'll vote me king of the prom.
Ed Freel: I'll go to the papers if I have to.
