Thurston Howell: It's dangerous to confuse children with angels.
Jim Kurring: The law is the law, and heck if I'm gonna break it. But if you can forgive someone... Well, that's the tough part. What can we forgive?
Phil Parma: I know this sounds silly, like this is the scene in the movie where the guy's trying to get ahold of the long-lost son, you know, but this is that scene. And I think they have those scenes in movies because they're true, you know? Because they really happen. See, this is the scene in the movie where you help me out.
Aimee Mann: It's not going to stop until you wise up.
Burt Ramsey: We met upon the level, and we're parting on the square.
Stanley Spector: This isn't funny. This isn't cute. See the way we're looked at? Because I'm not a toy. I'm not a doll. The way we're looked at because you think we're cute? Because, what? I'm made to feel like a freak if I answer questions? Or I'm smart? Or I have to go to the bathroom? What is that, Jimmy? What is that? I'm asking you that.
Jimmy Gator: I'm not sure, Stanley.
Jim Kurring: Sometimes people need a little help. Sometimes people need to be forgiven. And sometimes they need to go to jail.
Frank T.J. Mackey: I will drop-kick those fuckin' dogs if they come near me.
Claudia Wilson Gator: You don't know how fucking stupid I am.
Jim Kurring: It's okay.
Claudia Wilson Gator: You don't know how crazy I am.
Jim Kurring: It's okay.
Claudia Wilson Gator: I got troubles, okay?
Jim Kurring: I'll take everything at face value. I'll be a good listener.
Claudia Wilson Gator: I started this didn't I, didn't I - fuck.
Jim Kurring: Whatever it is, just say it, you'll see.
Claudia Wilson Gator: ...You wanna kiss me, Jim?
Jim Kurring: Yes, I do.
Jimmy Gator: The book says, "We might be through with the past, but the past ain't through with us."
Earl Partridge: This fucking lie... it's so fucking hard, so long! Life ain't short, it's long, it's long, God damn it.
Earl Partridge: Don't ever let anyone ever say to you, 'You shouldn't regret anything.' Don't do that, don't! You regret what you fucking want! And use that, use that, use that regret for anything, any way you want. You can use it, okay?
Claudia Wilson Gator: I'll tell you everything, and you tell me everything, and maybe we can get through all the piss and shit and lies that kill other people.
Avi Solomon: Donnie, you got struck by lightning last summer you were on vacation in Tahoe, I don't think braces is a good idea.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith: I'm sick and I'm in love.
Thurston Howell: You seem the sort of person who confuses the two.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith: That's right. That's the first time you've been right. I confuse the two and I don't care.
Frank T.J. Mackey: I'll tell you what I want you to do, Janet! I want you to do your fucking job.
Jim Kurring: ...whatever you wanna tell me, whatever you think might scare me, won't... and I will listen... I will be a good listener to you if that's what you want... and you know, you know... I won't judge you... I can do that sometimes, I know, but I won't... I can... listen to you and you shouldn't be scared of scaring me off or anything that you might think I'll think or on and on and just say it and I'll listen to you.
Aimee Mann: Save me from the ranks of the freaks who suspect that they'll never love anyone.
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith: I know I did a stupid thing. So stupid! Getting braces. I thought... I thought he would love me. Getting... braces! And for what? For something I don't even... I don't know where to put things, you know? I really do have love to give! I just don't know where to put it.
Earl Partridge: I'll tell you the greatest regret of my life: I let my love go.