Michael Whiteacre: Look, I've read all the books. I know that in 10 years we'll be bosom friends with the Germans and the Japanese. Then I'll be pretty annoyed that I was killed.
Draft Board Physician: You know, for a man your age, you're in excellent health. How do you manage it?
Michael Whiteacre: Clean liquor.
Capt. Hardenberg: The German army is invincible because it is an army that obeys orders. Any order. No matter how distasteful. It has no sentimentalists, no moralists, no individualists. You will have no future in it if you don't understand that. You may have no future at all if you oppose it. I trouble to tell you this because you have a fine record. You will be a creative soldier, once you get all this "thinking" knocked out of you.
Michael Whiteacre: Sometimes I think I give off a scent or something, you know, rouses the female.
Noah Ackerman: Hmm?
Michael Whiteacre: Those girls.
Noah Ackerman: Where?
Michael Whiteacre: Oh now wait a minute. You mean to tell me that you didn't-Oh your antenna's turned off.
Noah Ackerman: No, I frankly didn't notice.
Michael Whiteacre: Oh, you're sick.
Michael Whiteacre: Have you ever had a girl?
Noah Ackerman: Have I ever had a girl?
Michael Whiteacre: That's what I thought.
