Hater: This is my lesbian sister. Tell them about your softball team, tell them about your team.
Jack Fuller: Where's the one place where you can step up and be a man?
Hater: Community college?
Judge R. D. Whopper: ...Listen, I've been married for twenty five years to the same wonderful, infuriating woman. And granted there are days when I want to light her on fire but I don't, because I love her. And that would be illegal. And you know something, and I might be old fashioned but when I said those vows, I meant them.
Jack Fuller: It's like you're trying to come in first, but it's someone else's race.
Jack Fuller Sr.: You're like a son to me.
Jack Fuller: Dad, I am your son.
Jack Fuller: How hard can it be?
Joy McNally: I know how hard it isn't.
Hater: You're falling for your wife! Idiot.
Chong: I eat girls like you.
Joy McNally: You eat girls?
Chong: That's not what I me.
Joy McNally: No, makes sense.
Chong: No! I'm not.
Joy McNally: Totally understandable.
Hater: I'm the law, bitch.
Jack Fuller: Where's the one place where you can step up and be a man?
Hater: Community college?
Hater: Lavender, you get on my head.
Dave the Bear: Do you even know how to drive an automatic?
Tipper: If I could kill someone with my mind right now, it would be you.
Tipper: I just wanna junk-punch him in his man business.
Jack Fuller: ...We got robbed. All they took was the door.
Tipper: You know why.
Answer: He didn't actually want to show her the contract because he was falling for her and didn't want to hurt her, but his friend was putting pressure on him, so he went to go on stage because of the pressure, and decided to resist.