Sir Robert Chiltern: If you are suggesting, Sir Edward, that my position in society owes anything to my wife, you are utterly mistaken. It owes everything to my wife.
Lord Caversham: Now, if you don't make her an ideal husband, I'll cut you off with a shilling.
Mabel: An ideal husband? Oh, I don't think I should like that.
Lord Caversham: What do you want him to be then, my dear?
Mabel: I think he can be whatever he chooses.
Lord Caversham: You don't deserve her, sir.
Lord Arthur Goring: My dear father, if we men married the women we deserved... we should have a very bad time of it.
Lord Arthur Goring: Excuse me a moment. I'm in the middle of my performance of the attentive son.
Laura: As a betting man, you must concede there is a certain thrill to it. Consider also how elegantly I've moved from proposal to proposition.
Lord Arthur Goring: With hardly any loss of face. I'm most impressed, indeed.
Lord Arthur Goring: To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
Sir Robert Chiltern: I will give you any sum of money you want.
Laura: Even you are not rich enough to buy back your past, Sir Robert. No man is.
Lord Arthur Goring: Shouldn't you be in bed, Miss Mabel?
Mabel: Lord Goring.
Lord Arthur Goring: My father always tells me to go to bed, so I don't see why I shouldn't give you the same advice. I always pass on good advice. It is the only sensible thing to do with it.
