An Ideal Husband
Movie Quote Quiz

Countess: Aren't you going to congratulate me?
Lord Arthur Goring: Congratulations.
Countess: Aren't you going to ask what for?
Lord Arthur Goring: What for?
Countess: I've made a great decision. I've decided to get married.
Lord Arthur Goring: My God! Who to?
Countess: That part is yet to be decided.

Mabel: Lord Goring, I gather you're to be congratulated.
Lord Arthur Goring: Well, there's nothing I like more than to be congratulated, though invariably I find the pleasure immeasurably increased when I know what for.

Sir Robert Chiltern: Do you know, Arthur, I sometimes wish I were you.
Lord Arthur Goring: Do you know, Robert, sometimes I wish you were too. Except that you would probably make something useful out of my life, and that would never do.

Gertrude: Oh, Arthur... what a good friend you are to him, to us.
Lord Arthur Goring: Yes, but we're not out of danger yet. In fact, I believe there's a rather popular saying about frying pans and fires, except now it is you and I, dear Gertrude, who are to be roasted.

Laura: We were quite well suited, as I recall.
Lord Arthur Goring: Well, you were poor, I was rich, it must have suited you very well. And then you met the Baron, who was even richer. And that suited you better.
Laura: Have you forgiven me yet?
Lord Arthur Goring: My dear woman, it's been so long, I'd all but forgotten you.

Gertrude: Yes, Arthur, it is Robert himself who wishes to retire from public life.
Lord Arthur Goring: Rather than risk losing your love, he would do anything. Has he not been punished enough?
Gertrude: We've both been punished. I set him up too high.
Lord Arthur Goring: Do not set him down now too low.

Sir Robert Chiltern: Anyway, what's that saying about the sea and there being plenty of fish in it?
Lord Arthur Goring: Ah, yes, but I couldn't possibly marry a fish. I'd be sure to land an old trout.

Lord Caversham: What are you doing here, sir? Wasting your time, as usual?
Lord Arthur Goring: My dear father, when one pays a visit, it is for the purpose of wasting other people's time and not one's own.

Lord Caversham: Do you always understand everything you say?
Lord Arthur Goring: Yes... if I listen attentively.
Lord Caversham: Conceited young puppy.

Tommy Trafford: Miss Mabel, I hope you'll be able to make our usual appointment, as I have something very particular I wish to say to you. Good day, ladies.
Mabel: When Tommy wants to be romantic, he talks to one just like a doctor.

Lord Arthur Goring: There's somebody I want you to talk to.
Lord Caversham: What about?
Lord Arthur Goring: About me, sir.
Lord Caversham: Not a subject on which much eloquence is possible.

Sir Robert Chiltern: If you are suggesting, Sir Edward, that my position in society owes anything to my wife, you are utterly mistaken. It owes everything to my wife.

Lord Caversham: Now, if you don't make her an ideal husband, I'll cut you off with a shilling.
Mabel: An ideal husband? Oh, I don't think I should like that.
Lord Caversham: What do you want him to be then, my dear?
Mabel: I think he can be whatever he chooses.
Lord Caversham: You don't deserve her, sir.
Lord Arthur Goring: My dear father, if we men married the women we deserved... we should have a very bad time of it.

Lord Arthur Goring: Excuse me a moment. I'm in the middle of my performance of the attentive son.

Laura: As a betting man, you must concede there is a certain thrill to it. Consider also how elegantly I've moved from proposal to proposition.
Lord Arthur Goring: With hardly any loss of face. I'm most impressed, indeed.

Sir Robert Chiltern: I will give you any sum of money you want.
Laura: Even you are not rich enough to buy back your past, Sir Robert. No man is.

Lord Arthur Goring: My dear Mrs. Cheveley, I should make you a very bad husband.
Laura: I don't mind bad husbands. I've had two. They amused me immensely.

Lord Arthur Goring: I am glad you have called. I am going to give you some advice.
Laura: Oh pray, don't. One should never give a woman something that she can't wear in the evening.

Continuity mistake: Right after the debate in the House of Commons, Robert talks to Gertrude in the hall way. Behind them is a statue head. Several shots later that statue head magically moves to the opposite wall where Arthur "talks" to it.

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Trivia: The play that all are watching when Lord Goring fools around with his looking glass and Gertrude asks Robert what his business with Mrs. Cheevley is, is "The Importance Of Being Earnest" by Oscar Wilde. In the end you see the author coming out on the stage and saying a few funny words. This really occurred at the premier, Oscar Wilde did really say these things. It is a kind of play in a play, as "An Ideal Husband" was also written by Wilde.

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