Lord Arthur Goring: I love you... I love you.
Mabel: Is that your reason then?
Lord Arthur Goring: Mmm. Mabel, I said.
Mabel: I know.
Lord Arthur Goring: Well? Couldn't you you love me just a little bit in return?
Mabel: Arthur, you silly! If you knew anything about anything, which you don't, you would know that I absolutely adore you.
Lord Arthur Goring: Really?
Lord Arthur Goring: Well, why didn't you say anything before?
Mabel: Because, dear boy, you never would have believed me.
Lord Caversham: Now, if you don't make her an ideal husband, I'll cut you off with a shilling.
Mabel: An ideal husband? Oh, I don't think I should like that.
Lord Caversham: What do you want him to be then, my dear?
Mabel: I think he can be whatever he chooses.
Lord Caversham: You don't deserve her, sir.
Lord Arthur Goring: My dear father, if we men married the women we deserved... we should have a very bad time of it.
Gertrude: Oh, Arthur... what a good friend you are to him, to us.
Lord Arthur Goring: Yes, but we're not out of danger yet. In fact, I believe there's a rather popular saying about frying pans and fires, except now it is you and I, dear Gertrude, who are to be roasted.
Laura: Then I take it you reject my proposal?
Lord Arthur Goring: I'm afraid I must. For you see, as tempting as it may be, in truth it's little more than blackmail.
Laura: As a betting man, you must concede there is a certain thrill to it. Consider also how elegantly I've moved from proposal to proposition.
Lord Arthur Goring: With hardly any loss of face. I'm most impressed, indeed.
Gertrude: Yes, Arthur, it is Robert himself who wishes to retire from public life.
Lord Arthur Goring: Rather than risk losing your love, he would do anything. Has he not been punished enough?
Gertrude: We've both been punished. I set him up too high.
Lord Arthur Goring: Do not set him down now too low.
Lord Arthur Goring: My dear Mrs. Cheveley, I should make you a very bad husband.
Laura: I don't mind bad husbands. I've had two. They amused me immensely.
Lord Caversham: What are you doing here, sir? Wasting your time, as usual?
Lord Arthur Goring: My dear father, when one pays a visit, it is for the purpose of wasting other people's time and not one's own.
Mabel: Lord Goring, I gather you're to be congratulated.
Lord Arthur Goring: Well, there's nothing I like more than to be congratulated, though invariably I find the pleasure immeasurably increased when I know what for.
Lord Arthur Goring: Fashion is what one wears oneself. What is unfashionable is what other people wear. Other people are quite dreadful. The only possible society is oneself.
Laura: We were quite well suited, as I recall.
Lord Arthur Goring: Well, you were poor, I was rich, it must have suited you very well. And then you met the Baron, who was even richer. And that suited you better.
Laura: Have you forgiven me yet?
Lord Arthur Goring: My dear woman, it's been so long, I'd all but forgotten you.
Lord Arthur Goring: I am glad you have called. I am going to give you some advice.
Laura: Oh pray, don't. One should never give a woman something that she can't wear in the evening.
Sir Robert Chiltern: Anyway, what's that saying about the sea and there being plenty of fish in it?
Lord Arthur Goring: Ah, yes, but I couldn't possibly marry a fish. I'd be sure to land an old trout.
Trivia: The play that all are watching when Lord Goring fools around with his looking glass and Gertrude asks Robert what his business with Mrs. Cheevley is, is "The Importance Of Being Earnest" by Oscar Wilde. In the end you see the author coming out on the stage and saying a few funny words. This really occurred at the premier, Oscar Wilde did really say these things. It is a kind of play in a play, as "An Ideal Husband" was also written by Wilde.