Mae Thompson: How did this happen?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: Let me handle this. How did this happen?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: Um, dad... You know that weights aren't my thing.
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: Weights aren't your thing. Fishing isn't your thing. Just what is your thing?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: I don't know. But I'll keep you posted okay?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: Okay, in the meantime, you're trying these weights, and you're coming fishing with the family! is that clear? I can't hear you.
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: Yes sir.
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: When I was your age, I put on twenty pounds of pure unadulterated blitz-the-quarterback-and-rip-his-head-off muscle, Russell.
Nick Szalinski: We're now a quarter of an inch tall, and 64 feet from the house. That's an equivalent of three-point-two miles. That's a long way. Even for a man of science.
Amy Szalinski: Nick, I've got six hours to get home, get big and get to the mall. Now get moving.
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: The early worm catches the fish, Russell. Remember that.
Amy Szalinski: I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto.
Nick Szalinski: I don't think we're in the food chain anymore, Dorothy.
Nick Szalinski: Have a ball, baby.
Wayne Szalinski: Don't worry about them, they've got the Thompson kids with them. They'll be fine.
Diane Szalinski: That's another thing I'm worried about: Amy. In the dark. With Little Russ Thompson.
Wayne Szalinski: Get some rest.
Diane Szalinski: They'd better behave themselves.
Dr. Brainard: You were right about the electric flea collar. The extension cord was a bad idea.
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: Szalinski! Give it a rest! IT'S saturday.
Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: I could eat a corndog the size of a truck.
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: Ron, if you had a corndog it would be the size of a truck.
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: Hey, Szalinski, your lawn's beginning to look like the Amazon.
Wayne Szalinski: Yeah, producing oxygen, Russ. We all have to do our part. You know how all the jungles are receding everywhere.
Nick Szalinski: When we crashed, my entire life flashed before my eyes. It didn't take too long.
Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: Hey Szalinski, ever do anything normal? Like play baseball?
Nick Szalinski: Nope. Baseball is for mortals.
Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: Maybe you could be the base.
Nick Szalinski: Maybe you could be the mound.
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: Ronald, lug your stuff.
Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: Later, worm.
Nick Szalinski: Where'd you learn artificial respiration?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: French class, kid.
Amy Szalinski: If you were my brother, I'd put myself up for adoption.
Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: Yeah, I hope your face ends up on a milk carton.
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: So, you like to dance huh?
Amy Szalinski: How do you know?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: Well.
Amy Szalinski: You could see me?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: No, no. Yeah, I could, but I wasn't watching you, I.
Answer: More along the lines of a serious health problem related to her "plumbing".
Greg Dwyer