Alfred Kinsey: Everybody's sin is nobody's sin, and everybody's crime is no crime at all.
Clyde Martin: When did you first begin masturbating?
Old Woman: I invented it, son.
Alfred Kinsey: Love is the answer, isn't it? But sex raises a lot of very interesting questions.
Clara McMillen: I consider myself a free-thinker, and... frankly... I find you a little churchy.
Alfred Kinsey: The doctors say my heart sounds like a cement mixer.
Clyde Martin: At least they found one.
Clyde Martin: Sex is a risky game, because if you're not careful, it will cut you wide open.
Reporter: Any plans on a Hollywood picture based on the book?
Alfred Kinsey: I can't think of anything more pointless.
Alfred Kinsey: Mac, did I ever tell you about the Mbeere?
Clara McMillen: No, not that I recall.
Alfred Kinsey: They're an ancient East African tribe. They believe that trees are imperfect men... eternally bemoaning their imprisonment. The roots that keep them stuck in one place. But I've never seen a discontented tree. Look at this one! The way its roots are gripping the ground. I believe it really loves it.
Alfred Kinsey: I see marriage as a life-time partnership between equals.
