Bill Ubell: Captain, I am required by law to notify the bank of any illegal activities.
Steve Zissou: Just do what you gotta do to cover your ass, Bill.
Alistair Hennessey: You're the most ravishing creature that I've ever seen in my life.
Eleanor Zissou: Hello Skinny.
Alistair Hennessey: Hello Eleanor.
Eleanor Zissou: Is that a new merit badge?
Alistair Hennessey: Oh, yeah, as a matter of fact it is. I just became a Knight in Portugal, the Presidente gave a special ball.
Steve Zissou: Don't be nice to Ali, he's my nemesis.
Ned Plimpton: Stevesy, what's going on? Are those hijackers?
Steve Zissou: Well, out here we call them "pirates," Ned.
Alistair Hennessey: They made soup out of my research turtles.
Steve Zissou: Sorry about that. You caught me with one foot off the merry-go-round tonight.
Ned Plimpton: I've never seen so many electric jellyfish in all my life.
Steve Zissou: Are you sure?
Klaus Daimler: Yes, I am.
Steve Zissou: I don't understand. Why?
Klaus Daimler: What do you mean?.. Wait a second. What are we doing? You said cross the line if.
Steve Zissou: Cross the line if you're going to quit.
Klaus Daimler: Oh... Do it again. I misunderstood.
Steve Zissou: Don't point that gun at him, he's an unpaid intern.
Steve Zissou: Holy shit son of a bitch.
Steve Zissou: Oh, shit! Swamp leeches. Everybody, check for swamp leeches, and pull them off... Nobody else got hit? I'm the only one? What's the deal?
Steve Zissou: This bull dyke's got something against us.
Ned Plimpton: I don't think she's a lesbian. She's pregnant.
Steve Zissou: Wolodarsky, go get the keys to that fishing boat, and throw them in the water. No, wait. They might have another set. Just blow it up.
Steve Zissou: Son of a bitch, I'm sick of these dolphins.
Steve Zissou: If you're not against me, don't cross this line! If yes, do.
Steve Zissou: Where'd you come from? You look pregnant.
Jane Winslett-Richardson: I am pregnant. I'm not even going to ask what you men are doing out here in your matching pajamas, by the way.
Steve Zissou: Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go on an overnight drunk, and in 10 days I'm going to set out to find the shark that ate my friend and destroy it. Anyone who wants to tag along is more than welcome.
Steve Zissou: We were pretty good while we lasted, weren't we?
Oseary Drakoulias: Oh, we were like glory's gate, my darling. We were like that bloody shark of yours, we swam with the... oh, damn it, I had it on the plane.
Alistair Hennessey: Is this my espresso machine? Wh-what is-h-how did you get my espresso machine?
Bill Ubell: Well... uh... we fuckin' stole it, man.
Steve Zissou: We're in the middle of a lightning strike rescue op, Klaus. What's the deal?
Klaus Daimler: I'm sick of being on "B" squad.
Steve Zissou: You might be on "B" Squad, But you're the "B" Squad leader. Don't you know me and Esteban always thought of you as our baby brother?
Klaus Daimler: I've always thought of you two as my dads. Please don't let any one make fun of me for saying so.
Steve Zissou: I can't guarantee that, Klausie, but I'll try. Can we get on with the maneuvers now?
Steve Zissou: You really think it's cool for you to hit the sauce with a bun in the oven?
