Garfield: I've found that if you wait long enough, everything comes to you.
Garfield: Once again, my life has been saved by the miracle of lasagna.
Garfield: I'm banged in the nose again.
Garfield: Poor Odie. He faces a life of torture, neglect and degradation... Hey, nobody gets to mistreat my dog like that except me.
Garfield: This rescue thing is exhausting. When do heroes get to eat?
Garfield: I don't leave the cul-de-sac for anything.
Garfield: Jon! Jon! Odie is on TV, and he's wearing lederhosen.
Garfield: I'll purr like a Ferrari. Make that a Jaguar.
Garfield: If I didn't have a box over my head, I'd be humiliated.
Train station computer.: Collision in 20 seconds.
Garfield: Gosh, you sound like my mother.
Persnikitty: Eat hairballs, Happy Chapman.
Luca: You're on the wrong side of the street, fat cat. Beat it.
Garfield: And you, Luca. You're on the wrong side of the evolutionary curve.
Garfield: Why, why has this happened? I was the one... it was all about me. Not about some... stupid, sniffling, smelly, high-maintenance... disco dog!.
Persnikitty: When I give the signal, run like a mad cow.
Garfield: I slept like a fat cat.
Jon Arbuckle: What am I gonna do with you?
Garfield: Love me, feed me, never leave me.
Garfield: I can do this. Beyond this intersection is just another intersection, and another, and another. On the other hand, I wonder if there's any meatloaf left in the fridge. No, now is not the time for a plate of meatloaf. Now is the time for a plate of courage. Ladies and gentlemen, Garfield has left the cul-de-sac.
Garfield: I'll make it up to Odie tomorrow. I'll teach him how to drink out of the toilet.
Garfield: Sir Roland?
Persnikitty: In the fur.
Garfield: Muscle weighs more than fat.
Chosen answer: Jon makes educated guesses in the comics based on Garfield's body language and surroundings, he doesn't actually hear Garfield in either medium.
Phixius ★