Courtney: Do you always wear your glasses?
Palmer: Yes. Except in bed.
Carswell: Don't worry, man. You were the only one to come up with anything. He seemed very pleased.
Palmer: Well, he's got a right comical way of showing it.
Palmer: The fellow whose job I'm taking, will he show me the ropes?
Major Dalby: Maybe - if you're in touch with the spirit world.
Palmer: I beg your pardon?
Major Dalby: He was shot this morning.
Major Dalby: The Americans have put a tail on Palmer.
Colonel Ross: How very tiresome of them.
Palmer: Have you seen everything?
Courtney: Yes, thank you.
Palmer: Then you know where the... whiskey is?
Courtney: Yes.
Palmer: Fix us both one, will you?
Colonel Ross: You just love the army, don't you?
Palmer: Oh, yes, sir. I just love the army, sir.
Inspector Keightley: That little blonde bird you was with the other evening.
Palmer: Rita?
Inspector Keightley: That's it. What's her phone number?
Palmer: You dirty old man.
Inspector Keightley: Well, you scratch my back and I'll scratch hers.
Palmer: You ought to be locked up.
Inspector Keightley: I know.
Major Dalby: The next time you use CC1 authority, just you make sure you have it.
Palmer: You know, it's funny... If Radcliffe had been here, I'd have been... a hero.
Major Dalby: He wasn't. And you're not.
Palmer: What are you gonna tell Dalby on your L101?
Courtney: That you like girls.
Palmer: You got that right.
Courtney: You're not the tearaway he thinks you are. You also like books, music, cooking.
Palmer: I like birds best.
Raid Inspector: It looks as if all this has been laid on for nothing. That's not good enough.
Major Dalby: According to Central Clearing House, this operation was timed to start at 2.25. You started at 2.35. That's not good enough.
