Bela Lugosi: This is the most uncomfortable coffin I've ever been in. Your selection is quite shoddy. You are wasting my time.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: I met Bela Lugosi.
Dolores Fuller: Why, I thought he was dead.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: No, he's very much alive. Well, sort of.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: I like to dress in women's clothing.
Georgie Weiss: You're a fruit?
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: No, not at all. I love women. Wearing their clothes makes me feel closer to them.
Georgie Weiss: You're not a fruit?
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: No, I'm all man. I even fought in W.W.2. Of course, I was wearing women's undergarments under my uniform.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Do you know that I've even had producers re-cut my movies?
Orson Welles: I hate when that happens.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: And they always want to cast their buddies. It doesn't even matter if they're right for the part.
Orson Welles: Tell me about it. I'm supposed to do a thriller for Universal. They want Charlton Heston as a Mexican.
Kathy O'Hara: Eddie's the only fella in town who doesn't pass judgment on people.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: That's right. If I did, I wouldn't have any friends.