Jim Blandings: This little piggy went to market. A meek and as mild as a lamb. He smiled in his tracks. When they slipped him the axe. He knew he'd turn out to be Wham.
Bill Cole: Take it easy, Mac. Take it easy! The Republicans ain't in yet, ya know.
Jim Blandings: It's a conspiracy, I tell you. The minute you start they put you on the all-American sucker list. You start out to build a home and wind up in the poorhouse. And if it can happen to me, what about the guys who aren't making $15,000 a year? The ones who want a home of their own. It's a conspiracy, I tell you - -against every boy and girl who were ever in love.
Bill Cole: You've been taken to the cleaners, and you don't even know your pants are off.
Jim Blandings: It just so happened that General... uh... Gates stopped right there at that very house to water his horses.
Bill Cole: I don't care if General Grant dropped in for a scotch and soda. You're still getting rooked.
Jim Blandings: That was a different war.
Gussie: If you ain't eatin' Wham, you ain't eatin' ham.
Joan Blandings: Oh look. Mother's diary. It's slightly torrid.
Gussie: The children like Wham.
Jim Blandings: Well, there must be other things that we.
Gussie: Mrs. Blandings likes it, too.
Jim Blandings: Just the same.
Gussie: And I consider it very tasty.
Joan Blandings: Miss Stellwagon says the problems of the parents should be the problems of the children.
Muriel Blandings: Well, you keep that in mind dear. It'll help prepare you for motherhood.
Jim Blandings: Nothing, Mary. Just a private joke between me and whoever's going to be my analyst.
Bill Cole: Maybe there are some things you should buy with your heart and not with your head.
Joan Blandings: Miss Stellwagon says advertising makes people who can't afford it, buy things they don't want, with money they haven't got.
Muriel Blandings: The house and the lilac bush at the corner are just the same age, Bill. If a lilac bush can live and be so old, so can a house. It just needs someone to love it, that's all.
Bill Cole: It's a good thing there are two of you. One to love it and one to hold it up.
Jim Blandings: Nothing, Mary. Just a private joke between me and whoever my analyst is going to be.
Workman: I don't get this guy Blandings at all. If you gotta build on the windiest hill in Connecticut, why does he have to pick the windiest side of the hill?
Workman: You know these New York millionaires. Easy come, easy go.
Jim Blandings: What's with this kissing all of a sudden? I don't like it. Every time he goes out of this house, he shakes my hand and kisses you.
Muriel Blandings: Would you prefer it the other way around?
Jim Blandings: Now, just a minute. I'm entitled to know what I did. This is America. A man is guilty until proven innocent.
Bill Cole: Congress oughta pass a law. When a man buys a house in Lansdale County, there's a prize. He gets 10 percent off if he can find it.
Muriel Blandings: Mr. Zucca explained he has to use dynamite to blast to get rid of the rock.
Mr. Zucca: That's no rock. That's a ledge.
Bill Cole: What Mr. Blandings means is, what precisely is a ledge?
Mr. Zucca: A ledge is like a big stone. Only it's bigger.
Jim Blandings: Like a boulder.
Mr. Zucca: No, like a ledge.
Muriel Blandings: Jim, I wish you wouldn't discuss money in front of the children.
Jim Blandings: Why not? They spend enough of it.
