Cher: That's Ren and Stimpy. They're way existential.
Cher: Would you look at that body language? Legs crossed towards each other. That is an unequivocal sex invite.
Mel: We're going to have a nice family meal.
Cher: So, this flannel thing. Is that a nod to the crispy Seattle weather, or are you just trying to stay warm in front of the refrigerator?
Cher Horowitz: I was just totally clueless.
Cher: Okay, so you're probably going, "Is this like a Noxzema commercial or what?" But seriously, I actually have a way normal life for a teenage girl.
Cher: Searching for a boy in high school is as useless as searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie.
Mel: You mean to tell me that you argued your way from a C+ to an A-?
Cher: Totally based on my powers of persuasion, you proud?
Mel: Honey, I couldn't be happier than if they were based on real grades.
Cher: Dee, when your allergies act up, take out your nose ring.
Cher: Old people can be so sweet.
Mel: You drink?
Christian: No, thanks. I'm cool.
Mel: I'm not offering. I'm asking you if you drink. You think I offer alcohol to teenage drivers taking my daughter out?
Christian: Hey man, the protective vibe. I dig.
Mel: So, what did you do in school today?
Cher: Well, I broke in my purple clogs.
Mel: Anything happens to my daughter, I got a .45 and a shovel, I doubt anybody would miss you.
Cher Horowitz: So okay, I don't want to be a traitor to my generation and all but I don't get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair - ew - and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we're expected to swoon? I don't think so.
Mel: Don't tell me those brain-dead lowlifes are calling me again.
Cher: They are your parents.