Horse Feathers
Movie Quote Quiz

Professor Wagstaff: Why, I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.

Jennings: I want to talk to Baravelli. Now, you wouldn't mind stepping out, would you?
Professor Wagstaff: Well, I'd love to step out, but, I'd have to see the girl first.

Professor Wagstaff: What's all this talk I hear about you fooling around with the college widow? No wonder you can't get out of college. Twelve years in one college! I went to three colleges in twelve years and fooled around with three college widows. When I was your age I went to bed right after supper. Sometimes I went to bed before supper. Sometimes I went without my supper and I didn't go to bed at all. A college widow stood for something in those days. In fact she stood for plenty.

Baravelli: Well, that's the last time we deliver ice unless you pay the bill.
Professor Wagstaff: How much do we owe you?
Baravelli: Two thousand dollars.
Professor Wagstaff: Two thousand dollars for ice? I can get an Eskimo for two hundred dollars and make my own ice.

Professor Wagstaff: Oh, I love sitting on your lap. I could sit here all day if you didn't stand up.

Professor Wagstaff: In case I never see you again, which would add ten years to my life, what would you fellas want to play football?
Baravelli: Well, first we want a football.
Professor Wagstaff: Well, I don't know if we've got a football, but if I can find one, would you be interested? I don't want a hasty answer, just sleep on it.
Baravelli: I no think I can sleep on a football.

Frank: Anything further, Father?
Professor Wagstaff: Anything further, Father? That can't be right. Isn't it anything farther, further?

Professor Wagstaff: You know, this is the first time I've been out in a canoe since I saw the American Tragedy?
Connie: Oh, you're perfectly safe, Professor.
Professor Wagstaff: I don't know. I was gonna get a flat bottom, but the girl at the boat house didn't have one.

Continuity mistake: When Chico and Harpo bring Groucho ice in his office at Huxley College, Harpo is wearing some kind of earmuffs. Between shots they change from going round his chin to behind his head.

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