Jackie: I'm calling from a pay phone because I can't get my piece of sht cell phone to work unless I stand on my head with my fingers up my ass!
Jackie: Oh my god, Eli was stalking you? That is so romantic.
Jackie: I know gay men. I practically invented them.
Tom: Where you going?
Jackie: Uhh, home, to officially 'not call'.
Tom: No, no, no, no, you were supposed to stay here and watch Lifetime Television for Women and Gay Men!
Jackie: Uhh, no.
Tom: It's Joan Van Ark in Not Without My Nose Job.
Jackie: Oh, angel, I've already lived that movie!
