Dr. Dudley White: It's OK. He fell out of the window.
Wooley - civil war incarnation: Where is the nearest recruiting office?
His wife: Oh, running off to war like a coward.
Dr. Dudley White: Oh well, it's late, I've got to be getting into my strait jacket. I'll call a broom.
J.B. Masterson: Will you try to be a little more pleasant, at least until after the wedding?
Jennifer: 'Twould be nice to have lips... lips to whisper lies... lips to kiss man and make him suffer. Father, why cannot I have lips, and eyes, and hair?
Daniel: Goodbye, Jennifer, be a bad girl.
Wallace Wooley: Mere physical beauty isn't everything.
Wallace Wooley: I'm afraid you've got a hangover.
Daniel: Don't tell me what I've got! I invented the hangover. It was in 1892... B.C.
