Leprechaun: As Shakespeare said, shit happens.
Pvt. Delores Costello: You don't think Kowalski's gettin' killed was my fault, do you?
MSgt. Metal Head Hooker: What do you mean?
Pvt. Delores Costello: Well, I mean, I'm the one who gave him the boner and all.
MSgt. Metal Head Hooker: Forget about it. Kowalski would've wanted it that way. He was a marine. Come to think of it, when it's my time go, I hope I'm standing tall just like he was.
Dr. Mittenhand: I am like the Wizard of Oz, am I not? Running things from behind a curtain. Only this wizard IS NOT A FAKE.
Sticks: Man. Twenty-first century and they still can't dance.
Leprechaun: Your shrieks, my dear, provide a perfect accompaniment to this romantic evening.
Harold: Dr. Mittenhand, you look... much taller in person.
Dr. Mittenhand: Thank you, Harold, I'LL do the jokes.
Princess Zarina: The King is dead. Long live the Queen.
Staff Sergeant Brooks Malloy: You heard the lady, Harold, move your ass.
Harold: Hey, don't touch me unless you mean it, cowboy.
Dr. Mittenhand: No one leaves this ship unless I so say! Say so.
Tina: Don't get too excited, boys. On the planet Dominia, when a woman of royal blood shows you her breasts, it's a death sentence.
Sticks: And what part of her anatomy is she gonna kill me with?
