Princess Anne: "Half my weight's in jewelry, anyway." Do you remember when she said that?
Major Alistar Gregory: I wasn't here, but I heard about it.
Princess Anne: Is she here yet?
Major Alistar Gregory: Not yet, Ma'am, no.
Princess Anne: Then she's late. And he is early.
Major Alistar Gregory: And yet she is late.
Diana: I'm a magnet for madness. Other people's madness.
William: Mummy, what's happened?
Diana: It's Christmas. Everything waits until after Christmas.
William: Mummy, why do we have to open our presents on Christmas Eve? Why not Christmas Day like everybody else?
Diana: You know at school, you do tenses?
William: Yeah.
Diana: There's the past, the present, future.
William: Right.
Diana: Well here, there is only one tense. There is no future. The past and the present are the same thing.
William: Daddy told Harry it's because Father Christmas does queens and kings the day before everybody else so that we get the best presents.
Maggie: Hold on. Fight them. Be beautiful. You are your own weapon. Don't cut it to pieces.
Diana: Why don't they just turn up the heating instead of burying everyone in blankets? It's every year I say it.
Diana: Three days. That's it.
Diana: Now leave me. I wish to masturbate. You can tell everyone I said that.
Charles: The chicken laid the eggs, the fishermen caught the fish, the bees made the honey. They all made such an effort to bring you breakfast. Please do them the courtesy of not regurgitating it all into a lavatory bowl before the church bells even ring.
Diana: Will they kill me, do you think?
