Guardsman: Hey, you! Move that cab out of here, right now.
Vinny: Up yours, Gomer. I'm waiting on a fare.
Walter Kornbluth: I was right! Behold the mermaid.
Allen: You know by the time I got there, she was already gone.
Freddie: Victoria left, huh?
Allen: Yeah. You know why she left Freddie? Because I didn't love her.
Freddie: That bitch.
Allen: I don't understand. All my life I've been waiting for someone and when I find her, she's... she's a fish.
Walter Kornbluth: I suppose you're just some harmless beachcomber who happens to wear a tuxedo.
Allen: It just so happens I come from a very long line of married people.
Allen: I didn't even like you when I first met you.
Walter Kornbluth: Nobody likes me when they first meet me.
Walter Kornbluth: There is a mermaid in New York City.
Dr Zidell: Oh... oh... sure... sure... y-you mean this... this... this "naked girl"? How come she's got legs?
Walter Kornbluth: She has legs out of the water, she has fins in the water. You taught me that Dr. Zidell, don't you remember? You taught me all the legends.
Freddie: What you looking at? You never seen a guy who slept with a fish before?
Stan, the Tour Guide: Welcome to the Statue of Liberty. The Statue is a gift from French citizens and has come to symbolize hope for naked women everywhere. bocce balls.
Freddie: People fall in love every day, huh? Is that what you said?
Freddie: Yeah? Well, that's a crock. It doesn't work that way. Look, do you realise how happy you were with her? That is, of course, when you weren't driving yourself crazy. Every day? Come on. Some people will never be that happy. I'LL never be that happy. What am I talking to you for? You don't know anything.