Kevin: Can I bring my cat to work? He has terrible anxiety problems.
Abby Yates: Oh, I'd love to let you bring your cat to work, but I have a terrible cat allergy.
Kevin: I don't have a cat. He's a dog. His name is My Cat.
Abby Yates: You named your dog My Cat?
Kevin: Mike Hat.
Erin Gilbert: First name Mike, last name Hat?
Kevin: Well, his full name is Michael Hat.
Patty Tolan: [As a ghost leaves on the subway.] I guess he's going to Queens - he's going to be the third scariest thing on that train.
Patty Tolan: That's where I saw that weird sparking thing.
Jillian Holtzmann: What was it?
Patty Tolan: Baby, if I knew what is was, I wouldn't have called it a 'weird sparking thing'.
Erin Gilbert: Proton guns are all well and good, but sometimes you need the Swiss Army.
Erin Gilbert: I'm not good in a fight.
Abby Yates: Well, here's your chance to work on that.
Jillian Holtzmann: You guys, this is exactly how I pictured my death.
Cabbie: I ain't afraid of no ghosts.
Erin Gilbert: That stuff went everywhere, by the way. In every crack.
